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You say it best when...
In journalism school they taught us interviewing skills. As a purchaser, you�'ve probably run across the same tools in negotiation courses�active listening, interpreting body language. We learned to be polite and courteous; again, the underpinnings of good negotiating. I�m sure the skills are in the back of our minds, but it takes real-life examples to make you realize all over again, the true impact of good (and bad) negotiating.
The other day I dropped my daughter off at nursery school. The atmosphere in the classroom was positively-charged, with children learning how to share, say please and thank you, and treat each other with respect. Meanwhile, in stark contrast, two parents were havin'� it out down the hall.
What started as a disagreement over a $30 fee between the school president and another parent, quickly degraded into a heated stand-off. From what I could hear (while pretending not to hear) the conversation started with the $30 fee. But as the emotions took over, it seemed the fee was no longer important. Instead, the parents were criticizing each other�s arguing style (�you keep repeating yourself,� and �you�re insulting me.�)
So clear were the subliminal messages emanating from each parent, the two might as well have held up placards, one saying �"You are stupid,"� and the other "�My feelings are hurt."� It really drove home the importance of checking your emotions, and your impatience, at the door in any negotiation.
The second scenario is one you�ve probably heard about: Ford and The Negotiator. According to a report in the Globe and Mail, Stacey Allerton Firth negotiated with the Canadian Auto Workers on behalf of Ford for five days without a single raised voice, winning accolades from corporate Canada, and even Buzz Hargrove, president of the union. Hargrove said she'�s one of the best negotiators he�s ever worked with. She�s a great listener and she�s also decisive. For her part, Allerton Firth said she treated the union reps as she herself would like to be treated.
Finally, there was a third scenario that brought to mind that old song, �You say it best when you say nothing at all.� In this case it just didn�t work. Management at the Canadian Broadcasting Co. locked their employees out, and then ignored them�for seven weeks! An offer finally appeared, long after courtesy and expediency required it.
The lesson here is the longer you make someone wait, the more rejected they'�ll feel, making them less amenable to whatever you have to offer.
It�'s hard to be a both a competent negotiator and a human being at the same time. We all have emotions, job pressures, and temperaments we can�t simply hang on a hook outside the door. But from what I�ve seen these past couple of months, keeping a cool head and treating your subject with basic respect are golden rules that should never be broken.
Lisa Wichmann
Editor
Lisa Wichmann, editor of Purchasing b2b, may be reached at lisa.wichmann@pb2b.rogers.com
We welcome your comments. Contact the editor at lisa.wichmann@pb2b.rogers.com
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